Crying me a river

Hi Internet,

I'm one of those people who never let things go.  I get angry about something, sad about something, I just sit and stew and stew and stew.  I know, that's unhealthy and everyone in my life lectures me about it on end.  I do my best not to but...

Anyway, I have heard that a therapeutic thing to do is to start a blog and basically primal scream things out into cyberspace!  Well, in ancient days, they said to keep a diary, but this is the 21st century, so I will blog.

Seven months ago, I lost an awesome job.  It was well playing, in excess of $20/hr, and a union job.  I was let go nominally because, well no reason really.  In fact, I'm pretty sure I do know the reason and it didn't have to do with work performance.  I will not mention this place nor what I was doing there so lots of this entry is going to be "this place, that place, those people" but I really don't want to name names because the company I was working for is well known and the job I was doing is a "small world" and its easy to get blackballed.  I'm pretty sure after seven months of trying to find employment in the field that I have been blackballed already but I will take the moral high ground and not speak their names.

First off, the immediate area I was working in had no latinos working in it.  None.  I am latino, and I am middle aged.  There was one African American man who, truth be told, kept trying to warn me to keep my head down and keep my mouth shut.  I was hired with three white people in a "temp to hire" situation where we were basically promised to be taken on permanently as long as we didn't do anything really stupid or screw up or just be jerks.  All of the people I was hired with, myself included, more than met these requirements.

Now, before I go further, let me say, I am not Anti-Union.  Nor am I Anti-ThisCompany.  But, what occured to me there is, for me, one of the downsides to unions.  When you get very senior union people in a workplace who are 'bad eggs' and nothing can be done about them.  They cannot be fired, they can't even be disciplined.  A couple of these employees decided that they did not want another "mexican" working in their area, or indeed any at all.  So, when 10+ 20+ year union veterans complain to management, they have to listen, no matter what.

Long story short, at the end of the six month probationary period, I was let go and the three white people were kept.  At least one was hired permanent and made a union employee, the others probably have by now as well.  And I know it was racially motivated... any nonwhite who's been in similar circumstances will understand what I mean by that.  The sneers, the down-the-nose stares and the contempt for my last name and skin color... you can tell.

I am sure that it was racially motivated.  Could it be proved in a court of law?  I bet it could.  Could I have gone to the EEOC?  I probably should have.  On the other hand, nothing could have really been done.  Even if I could prove in court beyond a shadow of a doubt that a few racists (one bloated and grotesque one keeps coming to mind) kept me from that job, they would be protected by their union.  The worse that could happen would that they would be "fired", pension intact, and be relocated to a job equal in pay and rank to the one they just lost. 

So that's what's been eating me for over six months.  Eating and eating away at me, making me feel anger and rage whenever I dwell on it.  I figure, if I type it out here, I won't dwell on it as much.  

Rotten apples are really bad, especially when you can't do anything about them. 

And I wouldn't cry so much but it was something that I really enjoyed doing, it paid well, and it was in the health care industry so I felt I was really helping people.  Well, thanks to those white nationalists who didn't want me there, I'm not there to help those people anymore.

Whew, enough ranting for now.  I'll start the revolution later, I gotta go, things to do, people to see...