Thursday, July 31, 2014

Believing the stories we tell...

I wonder and cogitate on some weird things sometimes.  Like, how come I can never remember how to spell the word "weird?"  I before E except after C... NOT!  Good thing we have spell check.  All hail spell check!

Okay, another thing I wonder about is when people lie, and its obvious that they are lying, do they really believe it?  I'm really not talking about common lies here, like, you were sick from work and then seen on the golf course or have a mysterious receipt for a huge bunch of flowers for a woman named Sylvia found by your wife...

Maybe I should go to my examples, that will make it clearer what I'm talking about.

There's this guy I'm acquainted with.  Not really a friend, in fact, I hardly know him at all, I just hear him talk a lot.  He likes to tell stories about his life and one of his favorites is how he got thrown out of his house by his father when he was 17 and had no choice but to go into the army.  However, his brothers say that his father offered to send him to college and that he had the possibility to share in a huge inheritance.  however, this first man refused this.  To be frank, he was a white nationalist and wanted to go off with George Rockwell or whoever was leading the Nazis of the day and join in their crusade.  The father wasn't going to fund that at all.  He also would have taken the money to go to school but wanted to go to a school in South Africa.  So, there's more to this story, but everyone this main guy tells it, his father just simply up and kicked his hairy butt out the door one day, with no money, no schooling, nothing. 

Now, I wonder, when this guy tells this story over and over (it was a long time ago, over fourty years now), does he really believe it?  Is there a bit in his mind where he goes "yeah, well, father and I just didn't get along and I wanted to make a whiter brighter world and so I had to get the hell away from him..." or does he really believe his lies now?  Really, as in the fantasy history in his mind now genuine memory.

Another example was a friend of mine, an older guy, from a long time ago.  He wasn't a well man and had suffered from societal exclusion and ostracization much as I did when I was young and sick.  He was also very intelligent.  Anyway, we both liked the author CS Lewis and he would go on and on about how he had not only seen but read a first edition of "Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe" which did not involve Christianity.  It was written, he said, before CS Lewis returned to the church and held neo-pagan beliefs.  Then, according to this guy, it was rewritten by CS Lewis when he turned back to Christiantiy.   But this magical first edition still records CS Lewis' first neo-pagan and intellectually freer views.  Oh yeah, and you can't find this first edition anymore because they were all destroyed after CS Lewis reconverted.

An interesting story, but, unfortunately easily debunked by even a cursory reading of CS Lewis' life.  Yes, he did "fall out" with Christianity in his 20s and early 30s, a period in which he did dabble in alternative beliefs.  But he had reconverted long before he began serious writing.  In fact, the reason he began seriously writing again was to share his experiences in returning to Christian beliefs ("Basic Christianity" being an early work in this vein).

So, where did this old friend of mine get this bizarre story.  A story of previous editions and neo-pagan views?  Well, I can never be sure, but I think he may have heard of the "Le Fay Fragment", an early start to the Chronicles of Narnia that CS Lewis began but never finished; although the background of the fragment became the basis of his novel "The Magician's Nephew."  But even then, the LeFay Fragment dates from a period after CS Lewis returned to the church.  

My friend was no fan of Christianity for many reasons, echoing my own with bad experiences with people accentuated by medical problems which he couldn't help.  He was also a big fan of CS Lewis.  I think that he may have heard of CS Lewis' adolescent flirtations with non-christian beliefs and, wanting his hero to be non-Christian, came up with the vision of a non-Christian first edition.  Did he really truly believe this?  I really wonder, if the memories in his brain really had this as the scenario or did he know deep down inside that his stories were just so much wish-fulfillment?  

In an aside, many non-Christian people (or at least non-Anglican) love CS Lewis and have to deal with that part of him.  A Mormon gentleman I knew once would say loudly during our discussions "Too bad CS Lewis wasn't a Mormon!" with his hands thrown up. 

Lies, strange beliefs, falsehoods and distortions, I often wonder if, in trying to get others to accept them as truth, if the people spreading the stories themselves get to a point where they can't tell the difference between real and fantasy anymore either.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

No, I'm the most evilist man in the world!

Aleister Crowley (1875-1947), the infamous "black magician" was once called "the most evil man in the world."  This was in the mid to late 1930s.  This title he took to heart and he called himself "The Beast."

Yeah, right... most evil man in the world.  He's living in the era of Hitler and Stalin and Unit 731 of the Japanese Imperial Army and Crowley's the most evil man in the world?!?  I don't think so!  I think you're going to have to do more than sacrifice a few chickens to compete with, well, any of the evil guys from that era.  

Even General LeMay, who had a pathological fixation on firebombing Japanese civilians, a fixation so bad that Admiral Nimitz had to go to President Truman to try and get at least a handful of LeMay's B-29 bombers to actually be used to attack real strategic targets like airfields, ports, shipping and factories instead of slaughtering Japanese population centers, "Mad Bomber" LeMay was far worse than anything Crowley could magick up.   And Crowley is the most evil man in the world of this era?

Now, Aleister Crowley is famous and has quite a following even nowadays.  I've read quite a bit about him due to my interest in the occult and ritual magic.  He was indeed a rather unsavory man.  He abused the women in his life (his wives and "scarlet women").  He was a drug addict.  He was most certainly not nice to most the so-called friends in his life.  He died alone and flat broke in 1947.  Crowley squandered away a huge life savings on weird and bizarre attempts to make his own cult compound and such.  

But as far as we know, he never killed anyone.  Well, some might argue that one of his 'scarlet women' may have been driven to suicide but this hardly stacks up to Hitler's einsatzgruppen.  Crowley was also bi-sexual (although he claimed that his homosexual liaisons were purely for magickal purposes).  I don't know completely what his views on homosexuality were but from what I read, his only opinion was that being homosexual was dangerous because of what happened to poor old Oscar Wilde.  Hardly the raving anti-homosexual ravings that you see in people from this era, especially from the so-called "most evil man in the world."

I haven't read too many of Crowley's personal writings, but from what I've seen, he's a far cry from H.P. Lovecraft.  Oh yeah, Lovecraftians to this day go on and on about how he was simply a man of his times with beliefs everyone had.  But the man can't go more than a few pages without reminding you of how anyone not Anglo-Saxon isn't human.  Not to mention his famous poem on the creation of black people (using the N world).   As for the Jews, for Lovecraft, they were worse than Cthulu.

As I said just now, Crowley was no prize.  He was vain, self-centered, abusive, nasty, bad-tempered, and all manner of things along those lines.  But the most evil man in the world in the early nineteenth century through to the year of his death?  Not even close!

New Glasses!

I got my new eyeglasses today, progressive bifocals!

A weird and bizarre picture!
Ironic, I know, since I was just complaining about extreme closeups in documentaries in a recent post.  Oh well, do as I say, not as I do, I guess!

Confessions of a Pharmacy Technician

I am a Certified Pharmacy Technician.  I have my state license and PTCB certification.  I need both of those to work in Oregon.   I got all those fancy letters and words halfway through my life when I did that 'retraining' thing a few years back.

Before that I worked in technical support, administrative support, and data entry.  I'm a speed typer and I can most probably type 'you' before most of you can hit the 'u' button for the Internet-speak shortcut.  But unfortunately, most jobs in those areas have gone so...

I've also worked in stores, mainly Walmart, but a few years ago, I had a chance to take a year long course to qualify to work as a pharmacy technician.  I attended a place called Anthem College, which I heartily recommend.  Really!  No, really, when I first started there, suspicious me (I'm always suspicious) thought it was probably going to turn out to be some scam or some con.  I was really wrong!  Anthem College, at least here in Beaverton, took their job seriously.  And I mean seriously! 

My pharmacy instructor was not only a most wonderful person but had a masters degree and over 13 years experience working in the field.  She was also a monstrous task master who demanded that her students really learned their stuff and didn't give out top marks to anyone.  

But that's not what I really wanted to talk about right now, as cool as it was. 

I remember sitting in early training, hearing stories of working as an Allied Health Professional.  They told these tear jerking stories about patients, both ones that made it and those that didn't.  Stories about really making a difference and mattering in other people's lives.  Of course, being the cynical person I usually am, I rolled my eyes with a few other equally cynical classmates, chaulking it all up to health professional glurge....

Until I started working.

My first assignment, infact my hands on training assignment, was in an oncology clinic.  That's cancer, for the uninitiated and untrained.  One of my main jobs there, because I was relatively young and the newbie, was to run the chemotherapy to the nurses stations out on the floor.   The clinic sort of was in a big circle with the pharmacy at one point and all the nurses stations around this circle on the inside.

I'm sort of a hyper guy and would walk as fast as my thin little legs can carry me.  I'd keep going around and around and after awhile certain patients started taking notice.  Many were amused.  Others laughed.  One was this one older patient.  One fine day, I was sitting outside on break, I think I was drinking something.  This patient in a wheelchair was pushed by me and an arm came out toward me.  It was that one older patient who had so amused watched me running around and around, and the arm was stretched out as if to high-five me.  I returned it.   Even retelling the story is making my eyes fill with... its sweat! I'm not crying!

Then a while later, I was actually working at the other place where I did such a good job but some bad apples decided to get rid of me for various political and cultural reasons.  I used to make lots of deliveries to the oncology wing there as well.  One day, I was eating my lunch when this patient sitting up in a booth called out to me.  The patient asked me if I was that guy who brings the drugs.  I said that I was.  Turns out that this patient had been in oncology for a long long time and that this was one of the first times they'd been able to leave.  For them, being able to go down to the cafeteria was like being born again.  The patient thanked me for my hard work, for being the one that brought the medicines up to oncology that allowed them to get that far.   It was one of those moments where you feel like you could fly up and tag superman so hard he'd say 'ow!'

See, this is where I really get pissed off.  I was doing that job.  I was doing it well.  But some stupid people, like that bucktoothed white nationalist who hated me, got rid of me.  Keeping their area latino free (there were none) and white and bright... And do you know who's suffering for it?  The patients! The patients who are paying this company big money to get care.   I'm not there now to run that chemo, I'm not there to take care of those patients, and the people that are left are only concerned with going back to Ozzy and Harriot times! 

Yeah, sure, I'd love to get my teeth fixed and buy a jeep with the $20+/hr base pay the job gave, but I am, at heart, a softie.  I cared about what I was doing.  I wanted to be there doing it.  Now I can't and probably never will again.

Game Over, Man

You know, there's nothing more sad than a "player" (a sex-addict like guy who's always trying to score) who's now old and 'past it' but keeps trying to 'play'.

No, I'm not talking about myself (for once!) lol!

I'm remembering a night supervisor I had once.  Ah yes, those night shifts.  Lots of nookie goes on in night shifts, which I'm sure some of you well know!  If you ever go into a Walmart and there's no one around to check you out, they're probably bonking in the cash office!  

But this guy I'm remembering wasn't a Walmart supervisor.  I did know a Walmart supervisor who bonked someone in a cash office but he got fired for it because... there are cameras in there!  OMG, somewhere in Bentonville Arkansas there's a Walmart security camera with this couple bonking on it on top of the day's takings!  The two weren't really anything special to look at and the manager was old and moldy, so I bet that one's been safely filed away.  I don't think anyone would want to see it.  Then again, there's a kink for everything, but that's another blog post...

Back to this guy.  Well, I just remember the night he was dry humping the cleaning girl.  Yeah, young blonde cleaning girl, nice enough but rather plain.  But this guy flirted and came on to everything that moved.  Oh, and his current wife worked in the same area, just not at night, not on the same shift as him.  He was rubbing himself up against the girl, crotch on butt.  

Now I hear you say "OMG! Call the police!"  It was a union job.  And this night supervisor was a 10+, probably 20+ year union veteran.  Even if pictures were taken, both mine and the girls sworn testimony taken, nothing was going to happen from that one incident.  Indeed, according to the union policy they had posted proudly in the break room, he'd have to do it five times (that is proved five times beyond a shadow of a doubt) before they could even bring him in for a talking-to.

And even if he got fired, the union guarantees that he would be immediately rehired in a job of equal pay with all his seniority intact somewhere else in the company (it was a large company with sites all over the place)

What actually happened is that he got nowhere from that incident.  The girl never did come back for like a month (she avoided the area where I worked after that, saw her cleaning other areas though).   I think she may have indeed reported it because the guy in question did "tone it down" after that for awhile.  And his wife, whom I worked with during the day, was rather grumpy.  

I don't feel sorry for the guy.  He was probably pushing 50, maybe over.  A big guy but now wrinkled and face bloated with years of "good living", lots of drinking probably.  More body and belly fat than muscle now.  And since he was aiming at the young girls, he wasn't going to score with anyone.  I think he knew it too, because he hated my guts.  Every little thing I did, he'd criticize.   I have a bad habit of whistling or humming tunes to myself (easy to do late at night with no one around) and one night he just got in my face and mocked me, moaning a tune and making fun of me. 

Sexual frustration must have been eating him alive, and I'm sure his long-suffering wife wasn't doing anything to alleviate that.  On the other hand, I've been accused of being a "nice guy" for decades, so, while I wasn't having wild nocturnal affairs either, at least I had women we worked with actually stop and chat with me, including the young cleaning girl.  She was a computer gamer too.  

I had a great friend years and years ago.  He was a total 'ladykiller'.  Even my elderly mother would ask if my friend Steve was coming over soon.  Now he knew how to play! lol!  And I'm sure he still has it even now.  He just had class and style that this buffoon I worked with probably never did have.  Even so, you get old.  Skills decrease.  And you have to take it all in stride.  Its like when you get old and can't lose weight easily or exercise easily anymore.  

I'm sure that night supervisor is still there even as I type and you read these words.  Probably still trying to come on to some young girl.  Dude, give it up.  Its game over.  Yeah, you're old, just sit down and watch your sports.  No one's going to sneak off to the walk-in closet with you.   Don't be pathetic.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

No Peaking!

Remember Peak Oil? How people kept saying that by 1990 we'd run out of oil. Then it was 2000. Then it was 2010. Then... well, UC Davis scientists are now saying 2040. People used to really go around screaming like Chicken Little over this one. Everyone was screaming doom and gloom over this one, and the doom and gloom was supposed to be immediate. We were supposed to be out of oil by now in the earliest versions of the theory.

I decided to troll around the 'net and see what's the latest buzz on this old topic. Interestingly, Peak Oil is kind of on the way out as a theory. I came across many interesting headlines:


‘Peak Oil’ Is a Waste of Energy' - New York Times


The IEA Says Peak Oil Is Dead. That’s Bad News for Climate Policy - Time Magazine


Everything You Know About Peak Oil Is Wrong - Bloomberg Businessweek Magazine


There Will Be Oil:For decades, advocates of 'peak oil' have been predicting a crisis in energy supplies. They've been wrong at every turn - Wall Street Journal



Sure, you can find stories saying that Peak Oil is still coming and there are studies like the aforementioned one at UC Davis. But look at who's saying these headlines! These aren't weird survivalists in the woods. New York Times, Time, Wall Street Journal. I guess as a "theory", Peak Oil just isn't scaring people like it used to.

Now, I'm well aware that any oil supply that we have must be logically finite. We will run out of oil someday. Its just interesting that the scare theory of Peak Oil is being seriously discounted by seriously powerful people.


I wonder if in a couple of decades, we'll be reading the same thing about Global Warming.  The latest scare theory which has the status of religious truth right now; to question it, is to bring horrible retribution as an evil infidel against wisdom!  And there were those British scientists caught fudging data to make it fit the theory... Oh wait, did I say that? Oh no! It wasn't me who questioned Holy Global Warming Writ, the devil was at my elbow!

Come and get me, Copper!

Man, I got a traffic ticket just now.  Motorcycle cop got me for turning a little too wide.  Yeah, where I live, if you're turning into a two lane road, you have to turn into the closet lane then signal and move over to the lane you need.  No one ever does that and I didn't do it here.  But this copper gave me a $260 ticket for it!

$260 smackers for one offense.  My girlfriend got less for going 81 in a 55 a couple of years back!

I think the local city really makes money off their police force.  This isn't the first rather arbitrary stop with an over-sized fine for something rather persnickety.  I'll show up in court for this one, hope they give me a discount.  I am unemployed right now thanks to no pharmacy wanting to hire a middle aged Hispanic in this area.  

Its a very hot day here too, so that motorcycle cop probably wasn't feeling too forgiving, having to sweat out in this heat in all his equipment.   Humph, see if I vote for the local tax levies next time, copper! Nyah!



Its a small world after all!



I've been checking out the traffic stats of this new blog I recently created and I've noticed several hits coming from Poland.   I hope the people coming from there have liked my blog! 

Welcome to my silly blog!

You see, I'm an old geezer.  Well, mid-fourties.  The idea of a world-wide internet and instant communication still somewhat amazes me.  It wasn't so long ago that none of these things existed and the idea of someone sitting with a laptop half a world away could be reading your words instantly was just science fiction!  Oh and watching videos or real time cam feeds, sheesh, Star Trek didn't even have that!  

I remember one time back in the mid 90s, I was on a game forum, X-Com Enemy Unknown I think, and someone posted that it was a bright sunny day.  Someone else responded that, what are you talking about, its the middle of the night?  The guy was from Australia.  Even my fellow gamers at the time didn't stop to think that that forum was available to everyone everyplace.  The idea that this guy was talking about strategy against those pesky Sectoids from half a world away was just mind boggling!

Yes, yes, I know to all you youngin's now, this is just the way things are.  Its like someone glurging on about indoor plumbing to you.  But to me, its really still amazing and new.  Think about it.  People from places that I will most probably never see or visit in my life are coming here to read my mindless babblings!

See, this is what happens too when you get old, you babble like this.  Oh don't laugh, its going to happen to you!  It happens to everyone eventually, if you're lucky!



Monday, July 28, 2014

In Tabernas Veritas


"I described being interviewed on television at the 1978 Edinburgh Festival by a man named Bobbie (whose surname I forgot to note in my journal); in the pub next door he told me casually that he had once seen a gnome standing on the pavement outside a convent gate and that it had 'scared the hell out of him'".
-Colin Wilson, The Mammoth Encyclopedia of the Unsolved


Now, the pub may have nothing to do with this gnome sighting.  I mean, the gnome could have been real!  Its just that you needed to be potchkied to see it!

Say what?!?

"The annals of charlatanism are full of Walter Mittys and Billy Liars, but it is difficult to recollect a swindler who was really born in a palace or a stately home."
-Colin Wilson, "The Mammoth Encyclopedia of the Unsolved"

Yeah, because when swindlers come from stately homes, we call them politicians!

Radio Beaverton #1

Lots of people make podcasts and "radio" shows these days, so I thought I'd try my hand at it.  I made some "Radio Beaverton" videos for YouTube a while back, mainly book reviews.  This program is a more a wide ranging rant and rave on three topics.

Part 1:  Authors and the words they like to repeat and repeat and repeat.

Part 2:  An old journal entry and discussion of mine discussing the idea that science could defeat religion.

Part 3:  Computer game reviews!  Banished, Goat Simulator, and Crusader Kings II.


Thanks for listening to this show! I'll probably make more because I like the sound of my own voice (someone has to!)  so if you like it, look forward to more!

(PS: Thanks to Bryan Boyko and Public Domain Music for the little tune I use in the transitions!)

Sunday, July 27, 2014

KAHHHHHN!!! Or, To Boldly Be Damned If You Do....


 The latest installment of the 'reimaged' Star Trek is quite good, IMHO.  The last movie "Into Darkness" brought back an old villain from the past.  Somehow, Kahn Noonien Singh got promoted into Kirk's nemesis, probably because the first Kahn was played by Ricardo Montalban, someone who is often equally OTT as the great William Shatner himself.

Kahn, preparing for his scenery eating contest with Captain Kirk.
In the movie, however, the very good yet very white actor Bennedict Cumberbach was cast in the role.  Ostensibly because the producers did not want to cast a non-white as the villain and possibly be seen as racist.  They were trying to avoid any accusation that, by casting an Indian or Middle Eastern actor, or at least a non-white actor, that they were saying that all non-whites are crooks.  Its understandable and somewhat justifiable concern.
Silently thanking all the fanboys that turned his role into Kirk's nemesis after only one appearance!
On the whole, fans and audiences didn't seem to have much problem with it.  However, there was some backlash, the website racebending.com being one example.  

The article you can read at that link sums up, much better than I, the problems with the casting. 

Basically, there's a long an complex story, full of theory and observation behind this casting choice.  But this is not the reason I am writing this entry today.  

Obviously this was a bad choice.  I love Benedict Cumberbatch as Sherlock.  He's a funny and wonderful actor.  But he should never have been cast as Kahn, period.  
Kahn Noonien Singh.  Funny, he doesn't look Khanish!
You see, the bottom line is that I think the flak JJ Abrams would have got had he cast a non-white as Kahn is, in the end, less damaging to all involved than casting who he did.  Had a non-white played Kahn, the non-whites may have been upset, the Sikhs and Indians may have raised eyebrows and voiced concerns that they just get to be the villain (but a cool one at that!)  However, you know, I don't think they really would have minded as much as this face-egg white-out that they got.  One of the biggest roles for a non-white of India to come along in years, albeit a villain, and the part goes to a guy who's skin is whiter than chalk.    

That's where it really hurts.  That's a blow below the belt.  Racebending.com put it much better than I can, how this act whitewashed out the fact that Kahn is meant to be from the Indian subcontinent.  

They should have just bit the bullet and cast a nonwhite for Kahn.  Even one of us Latinos like ole Rrrrrricardo MontalBAN! (I loved that guy!).  I love Star Trek and Sherlock, but this casting, it was really a slap in the face.  I don't blame central Asians being upset about it at all.