Gross Stories

     Its been awhile since I've made a post!  So, I'll regale all of you out there with another "old codger" story.   This one is kinda gross, since that was the point of it I suppose.  So, if you're eating lunch, you may want to skip it.  Ironically, that's how it begins... with lunch.

     Many many years ago when the world was young, I was working as a temp at a local computer/technical company.  The initials may have been H.P., or not, I don't remember.  I was working in a documentation area with a bunch of very colorful and otherwise unfriendly people.  Well, they were unfriendly to me anyway, being a temp and not part of their world.   There was another temp I was working with, an older woman who had been part of the 1960s scene of flower power and protest, very colorful person.   

     However, another woman that worked in this area was a very large, obese woman who was one of the leaders of the local cliques.  Although her cliquish friends seemed to like her, she had lots of personal problems.  Her husband basically had drank himself to death and her personal life was apparently horrible.  Often times I used to find myself standing in line near this woman and the clique while waiting for lunch.  While waiting for the food, this woman would hold forth with the most vile, disgusting torrent of insults directed toward the food that was being served imaginable.  Very loudly, for all and sundry to hear and enjoy.

     This woman used to brag about actually meeting one of the founders of the company back in the 50s or 60s or somewhere, she had been there for that long.  So, I guess she had immunity for any bad behavior (although it wasn't a union shop).  And there she would be, at every lunch time, comparing anything liquid to "baby vomit" and anything slightly brown to crap.  Her routine was colorful and very very disgusting.  I remember on more than one occasion literally not being able to eat my own lunch after hearing one of her routines.

     One day, I told my temp friend, the older woman, about this lady.  She didn't believe me.  I'm afraid in those days I had the reputation of hyperbole and overreacting (still do in fact).  Soon after, my poor old 60s friend came back from the cafeteria with her food looking totally disgusted.  She asked me to identify this other woman and I did so.  It just verified it for her.  She had gotten in line near this woman and got totally grossed out.  My friend was really pissed off!  She spent the rest of the lunch hour picking at her food and psychoanalyzing this gross lady, trying to figure her out.   

     My friend came to the conclusion that this gross lady told sick jokes about the food because she was obese and hated the food that had made her that way.  I figure she was just a bloody minded mean person because I knew her and her clique better.  Either way, my friend started to avoid her as much as possible like I did thereafter.